Over the past few days I've become increasingly aware of how often I complain about things (thanks to a few delightful people I have in my life who so lovingly kept pointing it out - you can decide for yourself whether that was sarcasm or not). I really don't enjoy complainers (who does?). And I never thought of myself as a complainer - I tend to be a pretty optimistic, happy person. But thanks to these wonderful people in my life, I had to face the facts - I am a complainer. Putting a rosy tint on it, doesn't change what it is.
Yesterday I listened to Max McLean (I did not make up that name) read the book of James to me from biblegateway's audio Bible while I finished crocheting a beanie I had started back in January. Chapter 3 stood out to me in a new way. "Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check." woah. Perfect? nice. Does complaining count as being "at fault?" Other translations say "does not stumble in what he says," "does not slip in his speech," "offend not in word." I used to apply this section to swearing but I think it probably stretches beyond just that. To 'offend not in word' seems to cut out anything that doesn't express the fruits of the spirit and whatever is pure, noble, admirable, praiseworthy, etc. etc.
Looks complaining doesn't quite make the 'perfect' cut.
So since my conscious has been pricked, I am now on a mission to eliminate complaints from my speech. I want to do more than just use self-control to fix the problem though. If "out of the heart, the mouth speaks," then I need to fix my heart to have any hope of controlling my words. I'm not quite sure how to do this, but for starters I'll re-orient my thinking to find the blessing in the situation instead of focusing on the complaint. And I'm not talking about using "even though's" and "at least's" (ex. I'm blessed to have a washing machine, even though it marks up my clothes sometimes OR I can't stand how bug infested my house is, but at least I have a place to live!). These are complaints in disguise.
Being a psychology junkie, of course I looked up the psychological effects of complaining. Turns out there's a good kind of complaining that can lead to positive change and a bad kind of complaining that leaves you feeling aggravated and a lack of control - not to mention the negative effects it has on your interpersonal relationships. I think I can agree with that. What we really need to eliminate is whining (learn the difference). We don't need to always 'stuff' the things in life that bother us, but constantly whining about everything that doesn't go our way may be more harmful to our health and our relationships than we think!
I encourage you to a) remind me about my mission to eliminate [ineffective] complaints if you're around me and hear me complaining. and b) try this for yourself if you dare!
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness." (James 3:9)
Yesterday I listened to Max McLean (I did not make up that name) read the book of James to me from biblegateway's audio Bible while I finished crocheting a beanie I had started back in January. Chapter 3 stood out to me in a new way. "Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check." woah. Perfect? nice. Does complaining count as being "at fault?" Other translations say "does not stumble in what he says," "does not slip in his speech," "offend not in word." I used to apply this section to swearing but I think it probably stretches beyond just that. To 'offend not in word' seems to cut out anything that doesn't express the fruits of the spirit and whatever is pure, noble, admirable, praiseworthy, etc. etc.
Looks complaining doesn't quite make the 'perfect' cut.
So since my conscious has been pricked, I am now on a mission to eliminate complaints from my speech. I want to do more than just use self-control to fix the problem though. If "out of the heart, the mouth speaks," then I need to fix my heart to have any hope of controlling my words. I'm not quite sure how to do this, but for starters I'll re-orient my thinking to find the blessing in the situation instead of focusing on the complaint. And I'm not talking about using "even though's" and "at least's" (ex. I'm blessed to have a washing machine, even though it marks up my clothes sometimes OR I can't stand how bug infested my house is, but at least I have a place to live!). These are complaints in disguise.
Being a psychology junkie, of course I looked up the psychological effects of complaining. Turns out there's a good kind of complaining that can lead to positive change and a bad kind of complaining that leaves you feeling aggravated and a lack of control - not to mention the negative effects it has on your interpersonal relationships. I think I can agree with that. What we really need to eliminate is whining (learn the difference). We don't need to always 'stuff' the things in life that bother us, but constantly whining about everything that doesn't go our way may be more harmful to our health and our relationships than we think!
I encourage you to a) remind me about my mission to eliminate [ineffective] complaints if you're around me and hear me complaining. and b) try this for yourself if you dare!
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness." (James 3:9)
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