Being pregnant

This is what I've learned so far about being pregnant...

#1. You spend half your pregnancy in the bathroom. Seriously, if women get to be pregnant and have to pee every hour, why don't we get to be the ones who stand up to pee?

#2. You are perpetually car sick. Not the funnest. (I've heard early nausea means you're carrying a girl. I know this is just a wive's tale but when I consider that it might be true, I feel even more nauseated. #iwantboys) (so that you don't think I'm a jerk - I would be delighted to have a baby girl too. But if I made the decision, it'd be a boy.)

#3. You gain a super-power! (As if making a human being isn't enough of a super-power!)You can now smell E V E R Y T H I N G. And as cool as this sounds to non-pregnant people, it only serves to enhance the nausea.

#4. You are out of breath after just standing up. And I don't even have a belly yet! Better sit back down, sister! Rest is best.

#5. You can't stay awake. Don't fight it, just go to bed at 8 - before your grandparents. Sleep while you can because from what I hear, sleeping through the night doesn't last much longer.

#6. You're so voraciously hungry all the time! And everything tastes 10x as delicious as before! But you're NOT eating for two. As much as people try to make excuses for your abnormally large portion sizes and frequent snacking, the doctors will rip your head off if you embrace this mentality and gain too much. I watch my weight more being pregnant than I ever did when I had abs and a flat stomach! how backwards is that?!

#7. Make a sign that says "I'm feeling fine, thanks!" Because everyone will ask every time they see you but only a few want to hear about how you puked so much it came out your nose! At the same time, if they don't ask, it's almost worse.

#8. The best way to get people to stop rubbing your stomach is to rub theirs back. I'm not Buddha, people! Another thing I want to try is just turning around and saying that I prefer back rubs to tummy rubs.

#9. Naming a human being is harder than you think. Okay, it's harder than I thought at least. I must have had a page full of names I thought were adorable. But now that this baby is actually existing, the thought of choosing it's name for it is quite daunting. It can't be too normal or too weird, has to flow well, look good on paper, and have some kind of meaningful explanation behind it! After all this thought, I really hope the kid loves his/her name...

#10. It's kind of awesome to have a built in excuse for anything you don't want to do. Unfortunately I made the mistake of asking my doctor if it was okay for me to be around fumes from cleaning fluids (including bleach) and she said yes... so now I can't use that one on Steven. But the "I'm feeling tired. Growing a human really takes it out of you, ya know!?" still works. Seriously though, it feels great to be listening to my body and allowing myself to take it easy when it feels like I've had enough.

So yeah. Pregnancy is great and not so great. It's beautiful and ugly. I love it and I don't. So far I haven't met a single person who's told me that their kid wasn't worth it, so I'm pretty sure it's totally worth it.