"Can we pretend that airplanes..."

I love a good contrail. Did you know that contrails are made of ice crystals?! It's true. Even check Wikipedia. Some people may think they ruin a perfectly natural sky, I think they decorate it beautifully - especially when the sun hits them just right.

When I see these crystal trails, I often begin to think about all the tiny people on the planes that create those lines. I'm not talking about babies or midgets. I suppose they're normal sized people; but since they're way up high in a teeny tiny plane, they seem teeny tiny. I wonder where they're going and if they're happy or sad about it. I wonder who's missing them and who's excited to see them. I wonder how they're enjoying their airplane food (personally, I love airplane food. I just wish you could get seconds) and whether they're bored or not. I wonder whether their bags are on the plane with them or not and what is in their bags. I wonder quite a lot.

Well the other day my three beautiful sisters-in-law (I kind of don't like adding the in-law part because I like to claim them as my own but for those of you who would get confused if I don't specify, I will add it.) were tiny people. I was one of the sad ones they left behind, but I knew about the many happy ones that were waiting on the other side. I wonder if anyone else wondered about them.

Now I'm sorry if I get a little sappy in this next part. It's been a sappy kind of week.

I'm not great at goodbyes. In fact, I'm downright awkward. It doesn't matter if I'm leaving for an hour, days, or years. Usually I try to just sneak out unnoticed and I do my best to ignore upcoming goodbyes until the last possible moment.

We went over to see the girls a night or two before they left. It was like any other night - we played games, snacked, and enjoyed being together. Right before we walked out the door, we had to face the fact that we wouldn't be seeing them for a while. So we hugged them all. Especially Sara; she would be gone for a year (the others would be back in a month). The hugs weren't especially special; I didn't have any significant remarks to make or clever goodbye presents to give. It was almost a completely normal evening. Except that as soon as I got outside, I couldn't stop crying.

I sobbed the whole way home. If you know me, you know I rarely cry. Even when I want to cry, I usually don't. That was the second big goodbye in a week (the parents-in-law left a week earlier). I couldn't help but fast forward a few weeks to when we add a new tiny person (now I'm talking about a baby) and 3 family members aren't there to see it.

I'm sad for me and all the enthusiasm over the baby and help adjusting that I'll miss out on. I'm sad for our daughter and the people she'll have to wait to meet. and I'm so sad for the three who probably won't see her in person until she's old enough to toddle away - I'll be praying so hard that she doesn't think they're strangers! And I'm sad because I really love those 3 and I'll miss sharing meals and playing games together over the next year(s). They've been saying goodbye to family members for a good chunk of their lives now. I'm just getting started. I doubt if I'll ever get less awkward about it.