Waiting

I've kind of been a fan of waiting... in the past, that is.
Anticipation makes things more exciting; delayed gratification is often better than immediate satisfaction.
But when it comes to having this baby, I am ready to be done with waiting!

Being the psychology nerd that I am, I Googled "the psychology of waiting" and found an interesting paper by David Maister (here). Here are a few things I learned about why I'm feeling the way I do about this wait.

1. Occupied Time Feels Shorter than Unoccupied Time

aka: Time flies when you're having fun

I didn't mind waiting when I had things to do - rearrange the house, accumulate appropriate baby gear, mentally prepare, and track her growth. We've been able to savor the last few months as just a couple - sleeping through the night, sitting in silence, not being responsible for anyone but ourselves. The holidays helped give some distraction too. But now she's grown all she needs to on the inside, the holidays are over, work is ending, and I can't make any firm plans because I could go into labor at any second!

2. People Want to Get Started
Um, yes. I've never been a good procrastinator.

3. Anxiety Makes the Wait Seem Longer
After labor and delivery class I felt like I could wait forever. At this point, I'm just tired of wondering and worrying about the pain and the life change. I just want to get it over with.

here's hoping it's fewer than 12...

4. Uncertain Waits are Longer than Known, Finite Waits
I'm starting to reconsider how I feel about being induced or scheduling a C-section (kidding). But at least then I would have a date! I could make a paper chain and cut off each day as it passes. This waking up and thinking "it could be today! it probably won't be, but it could be!" and knowing that I could be doing that for the next 3-4 weeks is really getting old. It reminds me of Matthew chapter 24 where we are instructed to stay awake and ready for the Son of Man who will come at an hour we do not expect. Sometimes that's really difficult to do.

5. The More Valuable the Service, the Longer a Customer Will Wait
I was happy to wait while she grew arms and legs. I didn't even mind waiting for her to figure out how to use her lungs. I thought it was a good idea to let her brain develop. But now it doesn't make much of a difference if she grows inside or outside of me, so I'd prefer her to come out.

6. Solo Waits are Longer than Group Waits
I had been waiting with lots of other people, including two really good friends. But now they have their babies and I'm waiting alone...

So yeah, I'm ready to be done waiting. Most of all, I'm ready to meet this little girl and see what she looks like and who she is. While I was driving in the car the other day, I composed a letter to her - I guess it was more of an audio book than a letter. It went something like this:

Dear  ________ (you thought I might slip up and tell you the name. nope.)

You can come out now, if you'd like. Actually you can come out even if you wouldn't like. But I assure you that it's not so bad out here; I think you'll like it. Breathing air is actually a lot more fun than breathing fluid (not to mention fluid you're peeing in. gross). You can also hear a lot better from out here. And smelling! Smelling is my favorite. I think you'll like it too. I bet you have the cutest nose. Won't you come out here and let me see it? I know it's cold, but we'll wrap you all up and snuggle you so much you'll be as warm as can be. And if you come out, Daddy gets to hold you! You'll love your daddy. He's the best. Have I convinced you yet? I'm trying to be patient, but every time you squirm around I wonder what you're doing and I wish I could see you! hear you! smell you! Soon...

I love you!

I don't think she was convinced...