Dear Sleep,
I miss you. Please wait for me. I'll be back someday... I hope.
Love,
Me.
I really should have appreciated my nightly 9 hour date with Sleep more when I had the chance. For some reason, it took until I was in labor at the hospital for me to realize that I might never see Sleep again. And that is when I asked for the epidural and zonked out for the last sound sleep of my life.
A few years ago, just after we starting dating, Steven and I decided to value Sleep. We set a bedtime for ourselves and stuck to it somewhat religiously. After we were married it was even easier to feed our Sleep addiction. If you've ever hung out with us after 9pm, you should know that it was not without great contemplation and personal sacrifice that we spent that time with you! Being well-rested felt great. I remember wondering how many world problems would disappear if nobody were ever Sleep deprived. I'm pretty sure that by simply spending more time with Sleep, people are happier, healthier, wealthier, friendlier, more intelligent, more peaceful, and more efficient. I'm not the only one that thinks so - Good ol' Benny Franklin backs me up.
These days Sleep and I are not getting along. It's not that we don't enjoy each other's company anymore. It's just that... I've met someone else. Someone cuter. Someone needier. I know it won't last forever and I hope that Sleep will be there waiting for me when I return. But if not, so be it. She's worth it.
So far, the best solution to the problem between us has been a threesome: Me, Sleep, and the New Girl. I hope to get Sleep and the New Girl to have their own relationship independent of me, but so far it hasn't really taken off. Just last night, after more than a few hours of trying (but failing) to help the two of them work it out, I decided to intervene. With my arm around the New Girl to keep her from falling, we both tried to reconcile with Sleep. It worked out better for her than for me. Thinking the two of them were finally hitting it off, I decided to give them some alone time. Apparently they're still not ready to be without a chaperon. I spent the majority of the night trying to make sure my daughter wasn't suffocating under my arm or in my pillow-top mattress while pleading with Sleep not to totally abandon me.
Me: I need you. I can't get through work tomorrow without you.
Sleep: Shoulda thought of that before you let her come between us.
Me: Hey don't talk about her like that. She's a baby. She can't help it and she always comes before you.
Sleep: Fine. I can see I'm not needed here...
Me: No wait! I need you!
Sleep and the baby aren't really as hostile as I make them out to be. There are nights when the two of them are inseparable! While it's great for the two of them, I'm usually left out entirely. I guess Sleep is playing hard to get... I hope it stops soon.
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