*Spoiler Alert* Mom's Don't Know Everything

I used to think my mom knew everything. Eventually I figured out that she did not. I doubt my daughter will ever have to come to that realization as I'm pretty sure it has been painstakingly obvious since the beginning.

"Didn't you have to pass an IQ test or something before the hospital let you take me home?"

Just when I think I've figured her out, she throws a curve ball and starts me back at square one. Last month she had diarrhea. Sorry, I've been told I talk about her poop too much.

Husband: How was your day?

                    Me: Good. E's poop was runnier than usual.

                     Me: Honey, does this smell normal to you???

        Husband: It stinks. Isn't that normal?

I don't know why she started pooping 10 times a day.

I don't know why she stopped pooping 10 times a day.

(I'm done talking about poop now)

This month she's got a rash. Last week she loved her paci and her sleep - I couldn't keep her awake no matter what I tried! Now she only uses paci as a chew toy and doesn't sleep at all. Yes, I'm exaggerating. She did sleep last night. For several intervals ranging between 8 to 47 minutes long. 

Ask me what that feels like.

It feels like dizziness. Like running into the wall because I'm too dizzy to avoid it. It feels like eyes burning. It feels too tired to choose between potentially dropping the baby when I fall asleep standing up or potentially drowning the baby in my pillow top mattress when I let her sleep in my bed. It feels like I'm trapped in a bad dream on repeat. Except the bad dream is adorable and only wants to play...

Well at least she'll be tired and sleep during staff meeting this morning. Nope. And somehow I managed not to either. A little bit of superglue on the eyelids goes a long way.

I don't know what caused the rash.

I don't know how to make it go away.

I don't know how to break the sleep strike.

I don't know how I'll stay awake another night.

I don't feel badly about not having a clue though. Mostly because it turns out the doctors don't have a clue either (too bad their clueless-ness left them with a lot more student debt than mine did!). One Doc says she needs Vitamin D supplements, the other Doc doesn't even broach the topic. Some pediatricians suggest starting cereal at 4 months, others wag their finger at any food before 6 months. 

Lil Peanut doesn't seem to mind that I'm constantly making it up as I go along. Now that she's able to laugh, I fully expect her to keep me humble by laughing at me every step of the way. *laughing with me. I always laugh; sometimes it's the best way to keep from crying. And when you're going on hour 37, you're bound to be doing one or the other.