We did battle last night.
I'm not sure which part was in more pain this morning--my body or my heart.
Just put the child back in bed, they said.
No eye contact or talking, they said.
184 times I picked up my sobbing girl and mechanically took her back to bed.
The featured success story only took 79 times.
Wheezing and sweating after 2 hours of walking between my room and hers while trying to hold her at a distance, I read on for other solutions:
Close the door, they said.
Move the child to bed after they've fallen asleep, they said.
Praise her in the morning when you all wake up with smiles and laughter.
I closed the door.
45 minutes later, there was silence.
"We won. So why does it feel like we lost?"
What they didn't say was how to get into the child's room to put her back in bed when she's fallen asleep in front of the door.
What they didn't say was how terrible it feels to find your child has fallen asleep with her little fingers sticking out under the door in a last desperate attempt to escape.
I knew I shouldn't have ignored that pile of spider poop in the corner. The corner where her precious face lay sleeping.
She woke up crying and came to our room an hour later.
We, weak and spineless parents that we are, took her into bed with us where she has slept the better part of most nights for the past 6+ months.
When we woke up the next morning, we weren't smiling. But E was.
The one thing the articles, books, blogs, and professionals got right was that it's not as traumatizing for the kids as it is for the parents.
If you think sleep training is going to get easier, it's not.
They learn how to scream your name.
They get too big to manhandle.
They get more stubborn.
We're trying again tonight. So far she's been crying for an hour. Husband took a turn putting her back in bed and it only took 31 times for her to stay there. That lasted for half an hour. Now they're back at it again.
I don't know how long we'll have the strength to continue. 2.75 hours of crying last night and I feel like I've seriously wronged the tiny, innocent Little Precious I love most (can't say that much longer with #2 on the way!). If it doesn't get easier over the next few nights, we'll quit trying and just hope that she'll listen to reason when she's older. Or maybe buy a bigger bed.
Maybe some kids just need to be close all night long? But for how long?
In Pakistan they only have king sized beds because the whole family uses one bed. You could try that approach. Hope you get more sleep tonight.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Before we had kids I was very against them sleeping in our bed. Now I am the exact opposite.
DeleteCo-sleeping? Why not! but we can't sleep with our kids for ever. I shared my bed with my baby girl for the first 9 months - as long as I was breastfeeding. When she turned 9 months she didn't want to eat my milk anymore and I decided that it's the best time to teach her to sleep on her own in her crib. I've found some info about Susan Urban's short ebook "How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone" ( www.parental-love.com ). The guide leads you step by step so I knew exactly what to do and how to do it . No CIO and it worked extremely well! It took me 4 days to make her fall asleep on her own in her crib and she stopped waking up many times at night. Only 4 days after 9 months co-sleeping - WOW! So anybody who wants to transfer a baby to a crib should try it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for mentioning How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone guide. I never thought that sleep training can be so easy and fast. I love it and every parent should know about this sweet and short guide!
DeleteWell done and nice job excellent work and useful information about the Opportunity of sleep training. It's nice job.
ReplyDelete