The Now-Told, Untold Stories of a Potty-Trained Toddler

Our little Peanut has been wearing undies for a month now. And I only need one hand to count the number of accidents she's had. She's not even 2 yet. Yes, I'm bragging. And I'll tell you right at the start that this has been almost entirely her doing. I have no secret tactics, unfortunately (but that is also what I would say if I DID have secret tactics...so...).

Before you other parents go getting all jealous of our Super Star, allow me to tell you a few things nobody mentions about potty training. They must be too busy doing a happy dance over all the money they're saving on diapers. I'm going to pause my happy dance just for you.

The 5 times you secretly wish your toddler were still in diapers:

1. When she wakes you up in the middle of the night to go. I don't know where I came up with the idea that eventually we'd all be sleeping soundly through the night again. I'm starting to understand that that is never going to happen.
      
2. When she interrupts your shower - your 7 minutes of warm, restorative, me-time. Hearing "PEEEEEEE!!!" from your toddler is the second worst shower interruption ever (The first worst being a fire alarm when you're in a hotel or college dormitory). No, she didn't pee on the floor - that could have waited until the end of your sacred shower to be cleaned up. She has to go. She can't wait for you to rinse the soap off. And you can't tell her to just pee in her pants for fear all progress will be lost.
   
   The same thing happens during her bath time. But at least you can now feel better about letting her drink her bath water.
        
3. When you have to drive somewhere (anywhere!). There is nothing that will make you sweat more than hearing your Tiny Tike yell "PEEE!!" while you're in the car (okay, I realize red and blue lights in the mirror and out of control drivers may be more intimidating, but just go with this for now). Especially when you're no where near a restroom. I've considered knocking on a stranger's door and begging them to let us use their toilet. You think having them pee before you leave the house will work. It won't.
     
4. Anytime you have to be seen in public carting around a toddler toilet seat. Just keep reminding yourself about the $$ you're saving. Maybe keep a picture of her worst blowout nearby so you can remember what a disgusting hassle diapers are. Because when people sneer at that potty seat on the bottom rack of your grocery cart, you're going to need some encouragement to keep on.
     
5. When you want to go somewhere but then you remember there are no public restrooms. Guess we'll have to find another park. And walks around the block have been shortened to walks around the house. And road trips were already out of the question (see #3). The funny thing is that public restrooms are almost as bad as no public restrooms due to a toddler's complete lack of respect and fear of germs. We're past the "treat" stage of potty training but she still likes to rest both hands on the potty, lean over, peer at her great success, and praise herself. Meanwhile, Mommy is throwing up in her mouth. So basically you just can't go anywhere anymore.

So the next time you're changing your Little or packing her diaper bag or restocking your diaper supply, thank your lucky stars and try to keep her away from the toilet for another year or two. 

Kidding. 

*insert super secret toilet-training method here*

 I can't stop thanking this girl for giving us two months off before we start all over again.

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Husband Quotes:

Steven in an overly excited tone: "Your diaper just went potty!"

(yes, this quote is over a month old. and yes, we made sure to get full mileage out of each diaper thus sacrificing our girl's comfort and soft, baby bottom skin. but it's over now.)