I love Facebook's On This Day app.
I love it because it brings up embarrassing posts for me to delete - posts from before I figured out what was interesting to post about, posts from the dark years when I was trying (and failing) to find God and myself, posts from before I cared about the difference between "your" and "you're."
I also love the memories that it brings up. Apparently the app is not available to everybody, so I'm thankful to be one of the lucky ones who get to use it.
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| ...but you needed to know. |
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| ...okay... |
I also love the memories that it brings up. Apparently the app is not available to everybody, so I'm thankful to be one of the lucky ones who get to use it.
This morning's memories told a tale of God's faithfulness.
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| And you can tell from the number of comments that since 2008, I either got more friends or got more interesting. |
On this day five years ago, I was living and learning in Chile and was trying to determine God's Will regarding where I would spend the next 6 months of my life. I could list great things He might be wanting me to do in both the United States and Chile. It seemed as if He was saying, "I will be with you wherever you go" (which wasn't especially helpful for making a decision one way or the other).
Looking back, I realize that staying in Chile was the selfish choice. The self-protective choice. The Jonah choice. But God allowed me to make that choice...for a few weeks. He allowed me to run & hide and feel safe doing so. That feeling of safety was such a gift; it allowed me to enjoy the rest of my time in Chile without the dread and worry of returning home. But the time came for me to be thrown off the boat (or out the country, in my case).
How could I have known that exactly one year later (April 11, 2012), I would be engaged to a godly man that probably wouldn't have been there if I had waited 6 months to come home. God had a plan for my life - a plan to bless and prosper and not to harm. And as I watch my little girl right now, clapping joyfully for herself as she puts a puzzle together, I can't help but be amazed at His timing and His gifts.
Did I make the wrong decision when I chose to stay? In some ways, yes. In others, no. Was it my decision to make in the first place? Seemingly not. But the decision-making was an important part of the process. It was the decision-making that drew my now-husband's attention! It was the decision-making that brought me closer to God's heart and made His hand in the situation more evident. If I had been stubborn and resisted being thrown out, would my life have turned out differently? Certainly. But God would have been present, even then.
These days, my decisions do not seem nearly so pivotal - what to feed my family, who to visit, when to take naps, which bedtime story to read. And God does not seem nearly as involved in the deciding. But He's there if I look for Him. He's there reminding me to seek Him every time my toddler brings her Bible to me and asks for another story (because telling her it's not time to read the Bible just doesn't seem right). He's there putting people in our lives that help us along the way.
And although they are less urgent than my decision over whether or not to stay in Chile, the big decisions are still there - Where should we live? How much should we give? How many kids should we have? Where and How much should we work? It's not always easy to see God at work in the moment, but His hand is evident looking back over the years. And it's a comfort to know that He is outside of time and He already knows. Dios ya sabe - my mantra during my time in Chile and return home.
So trust Him - in the little things, in the big things, when you need to decide and when he corrects your decision. He already knows.
Other posts on what Chile taught me:
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