I Should Have Posted This Before Christmas So You Could Buy Your Kid Something Other Than A Hoverboard

Today marks one month since I faceplanted off a hoverboard and wrecked myself. To celebrate, my new best dentist declared my teeth officially stabilized and took the splint off my 6 front teeth ("All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth" has been a sore spot this year). What an ordeal the past 4 weeks have been. Here is the rest of the story, which I've been working on in small chunks due to concussion symptoms caused by the fall!

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In case anyone was wondering: turning a recurring nightmare into reality does not cure the recurring nightmare.

Last night I dreamed that all my bottom teeth fell out while on vacation (don't worry, I put them in a cup of milk so the dentist could reattach them when I got home). Since I broke a tooth off last month, I have had no less than 4 dreams involving lost or broken teeth. I would say it has exacerbated rather than cured the long-standing recurring dream.

Also. Hoverboards are dangerous. You may see plenty of 10 year-olds zooming about on them and be tempted to think they're fun and harmless, but let me assure you that they are emergency dentist bills waiting to happen! The real bummer is that an emergency dentist bill is one of the best case scenarios. Imagine not being able to find a dentist wiling to take your hundreds in exchange for his Saturday! 😱 Thankfully, after several phone calls, I found one such dentist. 

--- pause for head to stop spinning --

Pro tip: If you find yourself with a bloody hole in your mouth but can't find the missing [piece of] tooth, check your lip wound. 😳 My husband: "'Tooth embedded in lip' is coming up as a Google search, babe. Apparently it's a thing. Maybe you should try to check?" Me, an hour later after I've finally worked up the stomach to look at my new face: 😶 "Found my toooooooth" 😭 (Urgent Care can clean that sucker out for you. But since the 2 hour wait time on a holiday weekend was long enough that I could annoy every dentist in driving distance and finally find one with enough compassion to hear me out, I'll never know if Urgent Care would numb you as well as my new best friend dentist.) 

--- too long of a run-on sentence? blame the concussion ---

Miracle of miracles, I had a whole tooth, splinted wiggly tooth or three, and a clean lip just a few hours later. Dr. B (may as well stand for bestie) did wonder aloud at what kind of surface I fell on. Apparently there was a lot more than just tooth in my lip (it was my un-swept dining room floor 💁). 

It took 25 days for my wiggliest tooth to feel somewhat stable again. I'm still eating sandwiches and Christmas cookies with a fork and knife, 🙃 but I'm beginning to hope I won't need an implant!

If you (more likely your child) just *have* to have one of these mouth-hole-making machines, might I suggest a DOT certified full-face helmet, mouth guard, and airbag vest (Google it. it's a thing) to go with it?