I wanted to talk to Gramps: self-care

Today I wanted to talk to Gramps, but he isn't here.
I'm pretty sure of what he would say, but it doesn't feel as good to hear myself saying it.
Hearing someone else say what's in my brain makes me feel more real. 
Does that make me an external processor? I always thought of myself as an internal processor.

Do you have someone you can be vulnerable with? Someone you can say things to and know for certain that they'll take you seriously and never think less of you? That's such a gift. How do we cultivate that in our relationships? Perhaps more importantly, what do we do to each other that squelches vulnerability? 
being busy.
phubbing.
refusing to empty our minds to make room for someone else's ideas.
unwillingness to be vulnerable in return.
accuse.
suspect.
jump to conclusions.
believe the least generous interpretation.
let's stop doing those things.

I miss you, Gramps. So much it hurts. 

Okay, here's what I wanted to ask Gramps: How do we blend "laying down your life," "serving others," and "loving your neighbor" (what we believe Jesus calls us to) and the importance that mental health professionals today place on self-care, knowing yourself, and investing in meeting your own needs.