"Do you believe that you're actually talking to a god who hears you? Or just sending out positive thoughts when you pray?"
This is the little question, asked by a classmate in our Senior Seminar Psychology class, that has been haunting my prayer life for over a year. I rolled my eyes when she asked it - of course we believe God hears our prayers. That's why they're called "prayers" and not "positive thoughts." But as the days and weeks went by, that question ate at me.
I began to realize that prayer would "work" even if there wasn't a God listening and answering. Attitudes would be changed, fears would be calmed, people would become invested in situations, outcomes - both good and bad - would come about just because people give voice to their thoughts and desires. People seem to get healed or stay sick whether or not I pray about it. Does God really intervene in the world or did He just set it in motion and let it go? Good things happen for people who don't believe in God just like they do for me. How do I know it's not just coincidence when something I pray for occurs?
My prayers started to feel awkward and fake because of these questions and doubts. It was hard to make myself say anything to God at all. So I stopped saying things and tried to just listen. I tried reading the Bible, staring at the wall, lying face down on the floor, opening my hands, lifting my hands, and bowing down. I didn't hear any words, but the practice of listening felt refreshing and healthy.
I knew all the right Christian responses to my questions so I didn't bother asking anybody. Except my husband. Gosh I love that guy - his mind is such a nice place. I can't do justice to what he said to me but it's along the lines of: God made us to respond the way we do to the act of praying. Whether it's the psychology of it or the fact that God really does change things as a result of our prayers doesn't really matter because God is at the bottom of it either way.
But it did matter to me. Talking to my Creator and talking aloud to nothing in particular are two very different things. Knowing that God will change things if I ask him too has serious repercussions. I wasn't sure which way I wanted to find things. God listening to my prayers and acting on them makes me feel too powerful and God seem smaller. But God going about His business and paying no attention to what I say or don't say doesn't fit with what I know of God and the examples of prayer in the Bible.
Then one night during youth group, we were examining some verses in Colossians 4 and I got my answer.
"2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should."
I already knew we were supposed to pray whether or not God was listening, but verse two confirmed this. Verse three was the one that answered my questions. God does intervene in the world on our behalf when we pray. Why else would Paul ask the churches to pray that He would open a door or that Paul would proclaim the message well?
I don't know why this verse spoke to me when other verses on prayer didn't - ask and it will be given to you type verses or the Israelites asking for (and receiving) a king - but I'm glad God used it to give me an answer.
This is the little question, asked by a classmate in our Senior Seminar Psychology class, that has been haunting my prayer life for over a year. I rolled my eyes when she asked it - of course we believe God hears our prayers. That's why they're called "prayers" and not "positive thoughts." But as the days and weeks went by, that question ate at me.
I began to realize that prayer would "work" even if there wasn't a God listening and answering. Attitudes would be changed, fears would be calmed, people would become invested in situations, outcomes - both good and bad - would come about just because people give voice to their thoughts and desires. People seem to get healed or stay sick whether or not I pray about it. Does God really intervene in the world or did He just set it in motion and let it go? Good things happen for people who don't believe in God just like they do for me. How do I know it's not just coincidence when something I pray for occurs?
My prayers started to feel awkward and fake because of these questions and doubts. It was hard to make myself say anything to God at all. So I stopped saying things and tried to just listen. I tried reading the Bible, staring at the wall, lying face down on the floor, opening my hands, lifting my hands, and bowing down. I didn't hear any words, but the practice of listening felt refreshing and healthy.
I knew all the right Christian responses to my questions so I didn't bother asking anybody. Except my husband. Gosh I love that guy - his mind is such a nice place. I can't do justice to what he said to me but it's along the lines of: God made us to respond the way we do to the act of praying. Whether it's the psychology of it or the fact that God really does change things as a result of our prayers doesn't really matter because God is at the bottom of it either way.
But it did matter to me. Talking to my Creator and talking aloud to nothing in particular are two very different things. Knowing that God will change things if I ask him too has serious repercussions. I wasn't sure which way I wanted to find things. God listening to my prayers and acting on them makes me feel too powerful and God seem smaller. But God going about His business and paying no attention to what I say or don't say doesn't fit with what I know of God and the examples of prayer in the Bible.
Then one night during youth group, we were examining some verses in Colossians 4 and I got my answer.
"2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should."
I already knew we were supposed to pray whether or not God was listening, but verse two confirmed this. Verse three was the one that answered my questions. God does intervene in the world on our behalf when we pray. Why else would Paul ask the churches to pray that He would open a door or that Paul would proclaim the message well?
I don't know why this verse spoke to me when other verses on prayer didn't - ask and it will be given to you type verses or the Israelites asking for (and receiving) a king - but I'm glad God used it to give me an answer.
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