I meant to write about this sooner. My excuses for waiting until now are 1) jet lag and 2) internet problems. But hey, we have water and electricity and a weak signal from the neighbor if we sit in the bathroom. I'm not complaining. Blogging from the toilet is awkward, but I'm willing to do it for you devoted readers.
Don't worry, it didn't ruin the trip. Not even close. The grievances against Africa were quietly noted and tallied up in my head. It let me know that maybe my home country has something going for it after all. And maybe South America really has my heart - not "living abroad" in general. We have some precious memories from our short trip and some even more precious friends and family. I don't doubt that we will be back someday.
But I do admit that I was oh so ready to come home to my own bed, my clothes dryer, my reliable water and electricity, my own house with my own family and my own chores to do. Scratch that last part - I was open to taking the house worker home with us. I have increased awe and respect for those of you choosing to live in Africa. It hurts me a little to say I'm not itching to join you.
- Scenes like the picture above: paved roads beside dirt roads, fancy cars driving by people carrying water (I don't think it's actually water in that bin in the picture though. Maybe. They do have super strong necks). One of these things just doesn't belong.
- Having people working in and around your home while you sit there relaxing and playing games. I get that it's expected that you, being rich and white, provide them with a job. I also understand that living life is hard and takes a long time and it's great to have some help around the house. It doesn't make it feel any less awkward to watch someone fold your clothes while you play a game.
So how was our trip?
It was amazing. Words cannot express how great it was to introduce our girl to her grandparents (and aunt) and spend almost 3 weeks just being together. Neither can I explain how good it feels to no longer be a total outsider in this family of Africans. I have been longing to experience Malawi and experience Malawi, I did!
We had many meals (including a braai) on the McGrath's conde, hiked up a plateau, swam at a lake resort, met with a friend in her hut in the village, traveled on bumpy dirt roads, took bucket baths, ate dinner by candlelight, tricked the baby into taking her antimalarial medicine daily, played many board/card games, saw African animals on a safari, negotiated prices with shop owners, walked the isles of Shop Rite, ate "chips" from the market and had coffee at La Caverna.
I love being able to picture people and places while I hear my in-laws talk about them in both past and present. I also love being able to say that I've visited the continent. I think I have been romanticizing the idea of life in Africa for a long time. Marrying into a family who considers that continent to be a second home hasn't helped my rose-colored glasses come off. Until now. I wanted to think of life there as a grand adventure but in reality it felt more like a grand nuisance. I wanted to be flexible and care-free, but instead I missed my schedule and worried about mosquitoes, contaminated water, heat rash, dirt, sunburn, etc.
There's a widespread belief that Husband, being a former missionary kid, and I, having loved my experience living in South America, won't be living the rest of our lives in these United States. We try neither to encourage nor discourage this belief to the general public, but between ourselves we do a lot of encouraging and discouraging on both sides of the argument.
There's a widespread belief that Husband, being a former missionary kid, and I, having loved my experience living in South America, won't be living the rest of our lives in these United States. We try neither to encourage nor discourage this belief to the general public, but between ourselves we do a lot of encouraging and discouraging on both sides of the argument.
The only disappointing part of our trip was the discovery that the United States is not as far down on my list of Places to Live as I thought it was. I'm not saying I wouldn't live in Malawi if you paid me 1 million dollars to do it. I would gladly take your million dollars. But I didn't fall in love with the country the way I wanted to. I guess it wasn't totally fair to expect myself to love it, after only 3 weeks, as much as the people who have lived there for over a decade.
But I do admit that I was oh so ready to come home to my own bed, my clothes dryer, my reliable water and electricity, my own house with my own family and my own chores to do. Scratch that last part - I was open to taking the house worker home with us. I have increased awe and respect for those of you choosing to live in Africa. It hurts me a little to say I'm not itching to join you.
Some of the awkward and uncomfortable parts about life in Malawi:
- Seeing how little the people have and how hard they have to work to have so little. And knowing that I have so much and it's so easy to get it.
- I saw a lot of cell phones in the hands of people who didn't have electricity in their homes. And satellite dishes on houses with no running water. I just don't get that.- Scenes like the picture above: paved roads beside dirt roads, fancy cars driving by people carrying water (I don't think it's actually water in that bin in the picture though. Maybe. They do have super strong necks). One of these things just doesn't belong.
- Having people working in and around your home while you sit there relaxing and playing games. I get that it's expected that you, being rich and white, provide them with a job. I also understand that living life is hard and takes a long time and it's great to have some help around the house. It doesn't make it feel any less awkward to watch someone fold your clothes while you play a game.
Oh my gosh this seems like it was the trip of a lifetime. My favorite part though was your eye-opening observations at the end about the uncomfortable parts. Sociologically very interesting.
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