Why Young Moms Don't Eat Breakfast

From my journal this week:

Everybody was up, dressed, bathed, and 2/3 of us had eaten breakfast.
I can file this morning in the "success" bin, I thought to myself. My turn for breakfast.

"Up on Mommy!?" she ask-demanded.

"Not now. I need to make my breakfast."
And I did.

She stood there, in the way, crying.
The crying changed to whining.
I noted that she did not throw herself on the floor in a fit and congratulated her on it.
Refusing to stop whining, she got placed on the Thinking Chair* where she started screaming.

*because Time-Outs Are Hurting Your Child, don't you know? 

(yes, I put links in my journal) (no, I don't)

A fit.

Fits = Tired

Tired = Bed

To bed. 

(And that's how we get around time-outs without getting around time-outs)

Louder, angrier screaming

I prepared my oatmeal while Little Sister cried in solidarity. And hunger.

The cry-screaming from the nursery continued.

I stoked the fire trying not to let the chorus of crying cause my spirit to rage.

(My version of a too-brief adult time-out, plus we need to stay warm)

Does she feel abandoned?

Surely it's not wrong to feed myself.

I'll go check on her.

She stopped crying, but refused to come out.

I went back to the kitchen to eat.

More screaming.

Two girls screaming;

One girl wanting to dissolve in a bucket of tears.

One bite of oatmeal,

One sip of coffee.

One quick read-through of a devotional.

(Another adult time-out strategy)

"Depend on Me in your weakness.

Focus on Me.

Trust Me."

*Deep breaths*

(not nearly as many as it takes to center yourself and relieve stress.
Ain't no Mommy got time for that!)

9am. Time to re-feed Little Sister

How have I been up for over 3 hours and not eaten yet?
15 min is too long to leave a two-year-old in time-out 

(er, resting in her bed because she's throwing fits out of tiredness...)

Why is this so difficult?!

I just want to eat my breakfast!

WOULD EVERYBODY JUST STOP SCREAMING!?

I took Little Sister to the nursery to nurse (makes sense, right?)
At least Big Sister wasn't alone.

"Bye-bye, Mommy"

*walks back out to kitchen while nursing* (skillz)

Louder screaming

"No bye!!"

*waits two minutes so she learns that words mean something and doesn't think she can control me*

*walks back to the nursery. still nursing*

I don't know how, but I convinced her to climb up on my lap.

I don't know how she fit beside her nursing sister.

But I do know that she needs physical affection. A lot of physical affection.

So we sat there, the three of us. 

Calm.

When I had relished the calm as long as I dared, we got up and headed back to the kitchen.

I again tried to eat.

Big sister climbed "up on Mommy," filling up both "knees,"

and proceeded to eat my oatmeal - her second breakfast.

Not having the patience, nor the heart to listen to more screams, I didn't tell her not to.

I mentally un-filed this morning under "success" and made a note never to take a shower before breakfast again.